Don’t say a word!

Don’t judge me!

Don’t ask me why

I march on the streets, holding boards

Heavy with angry words.
Don’t ask me why

My voice is indignant and curt

And don’t tell me to hush

Because all my songs speak of hurt.
You weren’t there

When they took away my real books

And instead gave me the sort of education

Where my teacher was

A drunkard four times my age,

And my exams consisted of baby production.

you’re never there when the old fool pounds my dreams to pulp

and I end up with a black eye, the physical reminder

that my vision of a bright future is now fading, disappearing into

the black hole that is this life.
Don’t talk to me about culture.

You weren’t there

when at the slightest inkling of my womanhood

they took red hot stones,

placed them on my chest

and not only burned away my breast,

but put a scar on my soul,

You didn’t feel the searing pain,

When they spread my legs

And cut out my flesh,

And now I can never feel whole.

I can never feel woman enough

heck, I dont even feel human enough.

 

Don’t come around me

And preach about decency or

How I’m the cause of my rape.

You didn’t see when the people

I call fathers, neighbours, friends

Lifted my long skirts

And tore away at my innocence,

Day after day with no shame

And then they made me take the vow of silence.

you don’t know how many nights I cried

how many times I tried to muffle the silent screams that

in my head everytime the monster walked into my room

with an evil grin and eyes  full of hell.

I went to hell every night.

 

Don’t you even dare quote scripture at me.

So you know scripture?

Where was scripture

When they seized my glory

With shards of broken glass

Leaving me on the floor unwashed and crass

All because my love and partner was gone

And he had left me all alone?

when his once friendly siblings

turned into vicious canivores

sucking out the very life from me and taking everything by force?

When they took away my livelihood,

My hope, all I had that was good

And left me only with my tears

And a chair by the window,

Why didn’t you then quote scripture

About how to treat a widow?

Don’t jeer when all I ask is to be treated fairly

When all I want is for you to see clearly

That there’s blood running in my veins

Just like yours

And though you’ve hurt me,

I don’t even want revenge,

I just want remorse.

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Façade

You ask me why I walk away

I’ll tell you why I cannot stay.
Yesterday I loved you,

Today I don’t.
Yesterday you were sweet and warm, too good to be true.

I loved your words, I loved their font.

Today, you’re ice cold.

And sour. Not a sight to behold.
Yesterday, you shone like gold,

Glowed like the princess in a fairy tale told, 

About horses and princes, beauty and myth.

Today, I remember 

The sad saying about things that glitter. 

Four words I can muster

You. have. no. lustre.
Yesterday, you were full of stark colour, 

Bright red, brighter yellow.

Today, all I see are shades, 

More than Fifty shades of grey, Shades of a dirty careless spray

Of black, brown and the opposite of gay.
What can I say?
Yesterday, your scent

It felt like it was sent

From heaven’s garden

You smelled like rosy pink and ocean blue

Today, when I stand next to you

 I smell decay… I’m through.
Yesterday, you smiled

Your eyes wide and I said that was cool.

But now I know you only lied

And today I feel like a fool.
I know,

Yesterday is only a day ago.

But today, today’s the day I go.

… And I fell in love.

I spent three hours writing the perfect poem; tweaking the verses, deleting and undoing, searching my mind and thesaurus for all the right words…

Then another seven days timing, recording and listening to myself, memorising the words and still mixing them up, pacing and reciting, before a mirror making sure I got my expressions right…

But when I stood on that stage for two minutes, I knew I was hooked.

That rush of energy,

That strangely beautiful catharsis,

Those cheers,

They sealed it for me… 

And I fell in love.

With spoken word poetry.
#IYAgriotnights

Two Truths I’ve learned about Singleness

1. Single means ‘Whole’

To me, Singleness is not just that period of time when you’re not in a relationship. 

It is the time when you work at being whole, body and soul. It is the time you have to introspect, evaluate yourself and get better at being you. It is the time when you rid your mind of all the junk from past relationships, be they yours or others’. It is the time you get to figure out your uniqueness; who you’ll be and what it is you’d be bringing into the next relationship. It is the time to eat healthy, keep fit, develop self discipline, solid character and good habits. The time to learn and master independence and interdependence. It is the time to really love yourself so that you can eventually be able to really love someone else, and teach them how to best love you.

2. Singleness = ‘Purity’

You might want to call it ‘Abstinence’. 

I personally believe that if you’re single, then be single. Because in giving yourself to different people here and there, they each get a part of you, and by the time you’re giving yourself to the one, you’re no longer giving a complete version of you. 

 Note to singles:

Singleness is NOT synonymous to Loneliness. You have family, friends, colleagues. Enjoy these relationships as much as you can. Add value, make a difference. The ‘love of your life’ will always come.